Cardboard nan nuqqa you p1e as fck bro! (err, she-bro)
I'd like to use this time to make a very serious complaint, something needs to be done about Marshii. His behavior is inappropriate and shouldn't be allowed in these servers. It has gone on long enough without anything being done and his victim count is in the hundreds by now.
Just to explain, it all started one day last month. He asked me into the copy room under the guise of fixing a jammed copier door. When I bent over to check it out, I felt him gently run his hand down my right buttocks. I assumed at the time it was an accident but it didn't stop there. Two days later he requested my help yet again, this time checking that an ethernet cable under his desk had accidentally been severed by a wheel on his desk chair. When I checked it out it had been clearly been bifurcated with scissors, and when I tried to get out from under the desk Marshii had blocked me in while sitting in his desk chair. He sat there for what seemed like an eternity with his legs opened, as close as he could get to my face, just sitting there with the faintest smile and a weird glisten in his eyes. It was at this moment I realized for the first time I had been lured there by a seasoned male-on-male sexual predator.
Ladies and gentlemen, Marshii is a dangerous sexual predator that must be stopped. It has taken every ounce of courage I could muster to come forward like this, in the hopes that somehow we can come together and end his reign of terror. Something must be done. The time to act, is now.