How to set up chat bots?

I noticed saxton hell has a group chat bot or used to and i really want one for my forum, so it can every now and then say something like make sure to apply for mod if  you got what it takes or something like that, or when people join it can greet them!

Step 1. Turn on computer, forever. Don't bother turning it off. Losing an internet connection will have a similar effect.
Step 2. Download Steamp3, run it on your computer, and run the "Welcome Bot" plugin.
Step 3. Cry, because this is such an terrible way of having a 'bot', and is probably better than having no bot at all.
Step 4. Learn BASIC, a vastly superior programming language.
Step 5. Use it to recompile your kernel, then develop a bot that cleans, cooks, and says 'hello' to people in your group chat.

Windy wrote Sep 9, 2013 11:35:25 PM View original post

Step 4. Learn BASIC, a vastly superior programming language.

I think this too hard for anyone to learn so leave it to the pros